Although I am yet to ‘officially’ move to London, while down flat hunting yesterday I took BURGER B1TCH’S virginity – in the middle of Hoxton Square.
Recommended by a friend, I tried to book red dog saloon online via Trip Advisor but open table told me they were fully booked – open table you were wrong. I walked straight in at 6:30pm to a moderately full saloon of post work professionals.
MENU: The menu was strong, ticking off basically all your key burgers. From the modest entry level Cheeseburger at £8.75 right the way up to aptly named ‘THE DEVASTATOR’ at a budget blowing £22.95 [you do get 6 slices of bacon and 18oz of steak – and probably heart disease and acid reflux included in that price].
I chose ‘THE CALIFORNIAN’ cause it had guac on (you could put guac on a turd and I would buy it tbh #BASIC) anyway, guacamole, mozerella and applewood smoked bacon in a standard (nothing to write home about) brioche bun – £12.95
MONEY: Good old northern value for money is top of my list when it comes to reviewing. At Red Dog Saloon you have typically priced burgers and generous portions with a cheeky 12.5% service charge added to your bill at the end.
You could definitely squeeze this joint in midweek with limited budget damage.
MEAT: Juicy, ever so slightly bland and a little bit watery. But definitely enjoyable. Well worth the money in terms of amount of beef too!
MUSIC: LOUD AF. Kind of a cross between a hoedown and a mosh pit. Don’t sit under a speaker!
FRIES: The north to south transition is obviously getting to me, cause for the first time in my life I found myself ordering chips, cheese and gravy alongside my burger. Southerners call it ‘POUTINE‘ but whatever you call it, it was fucking TASTY. Although a northern delicacy it definitely had a southern price tag at £5.25.
Other than POUTINE I was kind of uninspired by the FRIES at RED DOG SALOON. Just your standard fries and sweet potato fries. Although for the MAC AND CHEESE fans, I was extremely tempted by the sound of the SMOKED HAM MAC AND CHEESE, maybe next time?
BOOZE: Literally how do people in London ever get drunk? £10 for a gin and slim is considered reasonable down here (Lol at me ordering a slim with my 95,000 kcal burger).
DESSERT: OREO AND SALTED CARAMEL CHEESECAKE. HUGE PORTION. NO REGRETS.
SERVICE: Good, although perhaps slightly too long a wait before you are asked for your order (I’m just being critical). Food comes really fast and suitably hot. No complaints on service at all (although with a 12.5% service that should be expected).
BURGER B1TCH OVERALL RATING: 3/5 – Midweek this place will satisfy the naughtiest of cravings, without breaking the bank.
ANYTHING ELSE?: In a big group of guys I would recommend smashing your way through some of the mega sized plates they have on offer, and the jugs of ALE. That for me is probably what this place considers its specialty, and judging by the testosterone levels in the gaf last night, it’s the perfect place to gain lad points before a night out!
Let me know if you have any recommendations for next week. The weirder the better!